I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.
I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.
I will reveal myself to be an old fogey by admitting this, but I used good old-fashioned match.com because it allowed me to write about myself at length and allowed others to do so too. It wasn't about an immediate hook-up; it was about getting to know someone well: their interests, their goals, their depth of thought, and most importantly, their values. And yes chemistry CAN develop through an extended email conversation. In fact, one of the recommendations I read at the time was "Don't let yourself fall in love over email. Don't wait TOO long to meet this person." Because yes, online chemistry doesn't always translate to chemistry in person. But sometimes it does and my marriage of fourteen years proves it.
I get the feeling that this article is about people who aren't primarily "thinkers". They are "wanters". Certainly the women looking for 6-6-6 are superficial wanters and takers. Why would a man even want a woman like that? However, some of the people that this story is about are fundamentally good people who, if given the choice between writing a paragraph of prose or cleaning the bathroom, would choose the latter. They aren't necessarily superficial; they just don't have the ability or the interest to communicate over the internet in a way that would let them establish some degree of common interests with someone before they meet that person. And so they end up with disastrous dates.
So true, its something that seeing someone naturally develops attraction. Another piece meeting in person is the facade. No one is natural as you are on guard and skeptical. The group of friends or coworkers allows that to develop naturally.
I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.
I will reveal myself to be an old fogey by admitting this, but I used good old-fashioned match.com because it allowed me to write about myself at length and allowed others to do so too. It wasn't about an immediate hook-up; it was about getting to know someone well: their interests, their goals, their depth of thought, and most importantly, their values. And yes chemistry CAN develop through an extended email conversation. In fact, one of the recommendations I read at the time was "Don't let yourself fall in love over email. Don't wait TOO long to meet this person." Because yes, online chemistry doesn't always translate to chemistry in person. But sometimes it does and my marriage of fourteen years proves it.
I have a 20 year marriage thanks to Match! TheyтАЩve made it much more detailed and complicated now; doubt I wouldтАЩve found my husband today.
Thanks for the input. You are hardly a foggy. I pre-date all of that.
I get the feeling that this article is about people who aren't primarily "thinkers". They are "wanters". Certainly the women looking for 6-6-6 are superficial wanters and takers. Why would a man even want a woman like that? However, some of the people that this story is about are fundamentally good people who, if given the choice between writing a paragraph of prose or cleaning the bathroom, would choose the latter. They aren't necessarily superficial; they just don't have the ability or the interest to communicate over the internet in a way that would let them establish some degree of common interests with someone before they meet that person. And so they end up with disastrous dates.
Valid point. Very valid. I think of the internet as an ADD world, all abuzz. And it is very hard to have meaningful communication in snippets.
So true, its something that seeing someone naturally develops attraction. Another piece meeting in person is the facade. No one is natural as you are on guard and skeptical. The group of friends or coworkers allows that to develop naturally.