The most significant change is the dating app. What used to be meeting in a group of friends, church, or work where you had time to get things out of the way that you can't do meeting a stranger? I always found that the woman put a lifetime of work into the expectations on our first date. Let's have a good first date, then have another o…
The most significant change is the dating app. What used to be meeting in a group of friends, church, or work where you had time to get things out of the way that you can't do meeting a stranger? I always found that the woman put a lifetime of work into the expectations on our first date. Let's have a good first date, then have another one. And you are so right about woke white women. They are the worst.
I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.
I will reveal myself to be an old fogey by admitting this, but I used good old-fashioned match.com because it allowed me to write about myself at length and allowed others to do so too. It wasn't about an immediate hook-up; it was about getting to know someone well: their interests, their goals, their depth of thought, and most importantly, their values. And yes chemistry CAN develop through an extended email conversation. In fact, one of the recommendations I read at the time was "Don't let yourself fall in love over email. Don't wait TOO long to meet this person." Because yes, online chemistry doesn't always translate to chemistry in person. But sometimes it does and my marriage of fourteen years proves it.
I get the feeling that this article is about people who aren't primarily "thinkers". They are "wanters". Certainly the women looking for 6-6-6 are superficial wanters and takers. Why would a man even want a woman like that? However, some of the people that this story is about are fundamentally good people who, if given the choice between writing a paragraph of prose or cleaning the bathroom, would choose the latter. They aren't necessarily superficial; they just don't have the ability or the interest to communicate over the internet in a way that would let them establish some degree of common interests with someone before they meet that person. And so they end up with disastrous dates.
So true, its something that seeing someone naturally develops attraction. Another piece meeting in person is the facade. No one is natural as you are on guard and skeptical. The group of friends or coworkers allows that to develop naturally.
When I left DC, a big part of me thought I would definitely be back sooner than later. There’s a lot I liked about the city. Then in the summer of 2020 I saw videos of woke white women going around to the few restaurants that were open and making all patrons raise their fists and chant Black Lives Matter in solidarity. I think I’m good living literally anywhere else now
So many of them in DC put a manifesto, or at least a bunch of slogans, on their profile and say that you had better agree. Although I judge the lack of open-mindedness, I feel myself becoming like them in a way: I don't think I could be with a far-lefty because they seem to be getting crazier by the week.
Yep. Lived there happily for almost 20 years. The rise of woke/BLM made it intolerable. Covid/Floyd pushed it over the cliff. So happy to be out of there! We used to routinely go to a couple of those restaurants that the "activists" targeted. Our neighborhood was littered with signs and placards telling us (white people) that we were literally killing black people (with our silence, etc). Neighborhood message board complained bitterly about us older white dudes who clearly were "the problem".
Go west an hour or more and none of this lunacy exists at all.
Unfortunately, those people have an outsized influence on our government's policies. They are literally living there for that reason. Given the shitshow that is the federal government these days, I don't think it's a coincidence. By the way, my employer wanted me to transfer to the NCR 15 years ago. I dragged my feet until a contract position opened up in Florida and have been here ever since. I would have made more money in DC, but I don't regret not moving there for a minute.
The most significant change is the dating app. What used to be meeting in a group of friends, church, or work where you had time to get things out of the way that you can't do meeting a stranger? I always found that the woman put a lifetime of work into the expectations on our first date. Let's have a good first date, then have another one. And you are so right about woke white women. They are the worst.
I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.
I will reveal myself to be an old fogey by admitting this, but I used good old-fashioned match.com because it allowed me to write about myself at length and allowed others to do so too. It wasn't about an immediate hook-up; it was about getting to know someone well: their interests, their goals, their depth of thought, and most importantly, their values. And yes chemistry CAN develop through an extended email conversation. In fact, one of the recommendations I read at the time was "Don't let yourself fall in love over email. Don't wait TOO long to meet this person." Because yes, online chemistry doesn't always translate to chemistry in person. But sometimes it does and my marriage of fourteen years proves it.
I have a 20 year marriage thanks to Match! They’ve made it much more detailed and complicated now; doubt I would’ve found my husband today.
Thanks for the input. You are hardly a foggy. I pre-date all of that.
I get the feeling that this article is about people who aren't primarily "thinkers". They are "wanters". Certainly the women looking for 6-6-6 are superficial wanters and takers. Why would a man even want a woman like that? However, some of the people that this story is about are fundamentally good people who, if given the choice between writing a paragraph of prose or cleaning the bathroom, would choose the latter. They aren't necessarily superficial; they just don't have the ability or the interest to communicate over the internet in a way that would let them establish some degree of common interests with someone before they meet that person. And so they end up with disastrous dates.
Valid point. Very valid. I think of the internet as an ADD world, all abuzz. And it is very hard to have meaningful communication in snippets.
So true, its something that seeing someone naturally develops attraction. Another piece meeting in person is the facade. No one is natural as you are on guard and skeptical. The group of friends or coworkers allows that to develop naturally.
When I left DC, a big part of me thought I would definitely be back sooner than later. There’s a lot I liked about the city. Then in the summer of 2020 I saw videos of woke white women going around to the few restaurants that were open and making all patrons raise their fists and chant Black Lives Matter in solidarity. I think I’m good living literally anywhere else now
So many of them in DC put a manifesto, or at least a bunch of slogans, on their profile and say that you had better agree. Although I judge the lack of open-mindedness, I feel myself becoming like them in a way: I don't think I could be with a far-lefty because they seem to be getting crazier by the week.
Yep. Lived there happily for almost 20 years. The rise of woke/BLM made it intolerable. Covid/Floyd pushed it over the cliff. So happy to be out of there! We used to routinely go to a couple of those restaurants that the "activists" targeted. Our neighborhood was littered with signs and placards telling us (white people) that we were literally killing black people (with our silence, etc). Neighborhood message board complained bitterly about us older white dudes who clearly were "the problem".
Go west an hour or more and none of this lunacy exists at all.
Unfortunately, those people have an outsized influence on our government's policies. They are literally living there for that reason. Given the shitshow that is the federal government these days, I don't think it's a coincidence. By the way, my employer wanted me to transfer to the NCR 15 years ago. I dragged my feet until a contract position opened up in Florida and have been here ever since. I would have made more money in DC, but I don't regret not moving there for a minute.
I live inside the Beltway. It's godawful here. I am counting the days when I can retire and move out.