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I spent most of my twenties and early thirties being single and can attest to many of the challenges in this article. I’d like to commend the author for making me so thoroughly recall the challenges in dating during that time :)

I used dating apps while living D.C. There was a direct correlation between how liberal the woman was and if she expected me to pay for the drinks, and not in the way you might initially think. I was just starting my career and barely making ends meet. 2-4 drinks at a decent bar was already $50 before tip, and then chances are one or both of us would never want to meet again. One night a woman called me a disgusting misogynist because I expressed my sincere doubt over the veracity of the claims against Kavanaugh. The average liberal woman thinks that to have a good partner he must agree with her every political opinion, which is largely informed by media outlets who regularly vilify straight white men. Just an all around miserable dating scene. I don’t miss it.

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There's a lot of that out there. I rule them out instantly, as soon as I detect it. It's really not the political leanings as it is the desire for control. It's disordered, and you'll find out worse things happen over time.

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Haven't spent much time in DC but it seems very striving and lonely. Any potential date could also be your next career "in". Seems exhausting. Glad you moved on.

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I was single in D.C. and agree it was a miserable scene. Most of the women are very progressive, and dates would go sideways quickly if you didn't agree with every ideal they had.

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Be happy that you dodged the bullet.

But note, too, attitudes can change...My spouse is a life-long, card-carrying, dyed in the wool, sometimes to the left of the left...

Her current stance is one of disgust and anger as to how thoroughly the ruling class has so flagrantly abused the trust that the electorate has confided in them.

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I like how the average conservative/MAGA woman would never expect her partner to agree with every political position.

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Average liberal women want everyone in their lives to agree with their every political opinion, it looks like. A lot of them cut off friends and even family members over politics.

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I think it's just a general trend to fill in the vacumn of meaning that every human being needs filled. Just sad that politics - especially today's politics - would fill that void.

Maybe women inherently have a more intense need to find something to fill that void than men, hence their intensified politicism? Just musing...

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I think that is true of those who identify as

modern liberals in general though, not just women. That gotta have bona fides with the tribe thing.

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Clearly nobody here prioritizes people agreeing with their political opinions.

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I hear you on the woke women issue. I recently went out on a date which I thought went quite well and that there was mutual attraction. The next day, I get this scorching text calling me a white supremacist (I'm not at all) followed by charges of climate change denialism, and denying systemic racism. What I thought was a good conversation obviously wasn't. I was flabbergasted. If women (or men) are going to add this on top of their '666' requirements, then all hope is lost.

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Wow. Probably for the best.

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Wow, just say " I don't think we clicked, best of luck". She sounds like exhaustion in human form.

Been there, when you thought it went fine and got a cold fish to the face. Onward!

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I am with Hulverhead on this. Thanks for your service.

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Thank you. 41 long years ;)

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The female mind tends to be covert. The male mind tends to be overt. Women think and don't speak their mind very often. Women are also creatures of their peer groups, which is their girlfriends.

I have a close woman friend who can't stand the nastiness of the lockstep wokeness crowd. She also can't stand the cartoonish right wing dingbats. But, being a woman, she puts up with both sets. She smiles and goes to lunch with them because, for a woman being social is, for most, as important as breathing.

So, don't expect honesty except in that form.

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But Spartacus, when women *are* honest and speak their minds, they are punished heavily for doing so. Men are threatened by forthright women. Go to a typical gathering - say at a church - and see how in a mixed group, the men do the talking and the women do the listening. And if a woman tries to join the discussion, her input is not welcomed; the men tend to close up and go elsewhere as she's considered way too brash. But with their girlfriends, women CAN speak their minds.

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I'm not. I love that lol. Just saying......

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But Julia, you just confirmed what I said. This is how the species is wired. Women smile and pretend and act.

Women are covert. I have known women who were less covert and did fine. Some were/are very clear. But on the whole, women are wired exactly as you say.

"But I might not be welcomed!"

That. That is it. Precisely.

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Honest question: Why do you lead with your rank, especially since you're retired? What's that about?

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Firstly, it's quite common. Secondly, I write a military intelligence blog. If the reader knows my background, it situates my comments and writing. Lastly, it's a beacon to other retired soldiers etc whom I have many things in common with. Not much different than including "former professor" or "former Governor" in the body of the article etc.

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The same reason that Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George Bush, etc. are still called "Mister President".

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Why do doctors lead with: Dr. Beeblebrox?

A military rank of LtCol is a lifetime of very hard work. It probably involved death of friends and soldiers in command. He earned it.

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I found it interesting, and he answered the question. I worked 30+ years at an Air Force base and no one I ever knew wore the rank after retirement. Guess the Army is different.

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There’s many military blogs and forums where retired NCOs and officers list their rank. It’s actually fairly common.

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This is not a military blog or forum. so I thought it was a little odd.

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you dodged a bullet , lucky you got that text before you wasted more time on whatever you dated

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The most significant change is the dating app. What used to be meeting in a group of friends, church, or work where you had time to get things out of the way that you can't do meeting a stranger? I always found that the woman put a lifetime of work into the expectations on our first date. Let's have a good first date, then have another one. And you are so right about woke white women. They are the worst.

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I was thinking the same about the app scenario. We used to call what attracted us to another "chemistry". That cannot happen online and I submit if the initial interaction/negotiation occurs online it will not happen at the first live meeting either. No more "their eyes met across [the room, crowded dance floor.. .]. Sigh.

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I will reveal myself to be an old fogey by admitting this, but I used good old-fashioned match.com because it allowed me to write about myself at length and allowed others to do so too. It wasn't about an immediate hook-up; it was about getting to know someone well: their interests, their goals, their depth of thought, and most importantly, their values. And yes chemistry CAN develop through an extended email conversation. In fact, one of the recommendations I read at the time was "Don't let yourself fall in love over email. Don't wait TOO long to meet this person." Because yes, online chemistry doesn't always translate to chemistry in person. But sometimes it does and my marriage of fourteen years proves it.

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I have a 20 year marriage thanks to Match! They’ve made it much more detailed and complicated now; doubt I would’ve found my husband today.

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Thanks for the input. You are hardly a foggy. I pre-date all of that.

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I get the feeling that this article is about people who aren't primarily "thinkers". They are "wanters". Certainly the women looking for 6-6-6 are superficial wanters and takers. Why would a man even want a woman like that? However, some of the people that this story is about are fundamentally good people who, if given the choice between writing a paragraph of prose or cleaning the bathroom, would choose the latter. They aren't necessarily superficial; they just don't have the ability or the interest to communicate over the internet in a way that would let them establish some degree of common interests with someone before they meet that person. And so they end up with disastrous dates.

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Valid point. Very valid. I think of the internet as an ADD world, all abuzz. And it is very hard to have meaningful communication in snippets.

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So true, its something that seeing someone naturally develops attraction. Another piece meeting in person is the facade. No one is natural as you are on guard and skeptical. The group of friends or coworkers allows that to develop naturally.

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When I left DC, a big part of me thought I would definitely be back sooner than later. There’s a lot I liked about the city. Then in the summer of 2020 I saw videos of woke white women going around to the few restaurants that were open and making all patrons raise their fists and chant Black Lives Matter in solidarity. I think I’m good living literally anywhere else now

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So many of them in DC put a manifesto, or at least a bunch of slogans, on their profile and say that you had better agree. Although I judge the lack of open-mindedness, I feel myself becoming like them in a way: I don't think I could be with a far-lefty because they seem to be getting crazier by the week.

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Yep. Lived there happily for almost 20 years. The rise of woke/BLM made it intolerable. Covid/Floyd pushed it over the cliff. So happy to be out of there! We used to routinely go to a couple of those restaurants that the "activists" targeted. Our neighborhood was littered with signs and placards telling us (white people) that we were literally killing black people (with our silence, etc). Neighborhood message board complained bitterly about us older white dudes who clearly were "the problem".

Go west an hour or more and none of this lunacy exists at all.

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Unfortunately, those people have an outsized influence on our government's policies. They are literally living there for that reason. Given the shitshow that is the federal government these days, I don't think it's a coincidence. By the way, my employer wanted me to transfer to the NCR 15 years ago. I dragged my feet until a contract position opened up in Florida and have been here ever since. I would have made more money in DC, but I don't regret not moving there for a minute.

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I live inside the Beltway. It's godawful here. I am counting the days when I can retire and move out.

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Congratulations on getting out !

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Haha thank you! Recently got a job offer to move back to DC. Thought for five seconds about the average person living there and decisively declined.

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Smart move staying out of the beltway swamp.

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A city known for being filled with single young women on the make. In days gone by that was a "target rich environment." Now it's nothing but a minefield strewn with the lunatics you described.

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666 rule - Whoever made that rule up must have been talking about you, me, Kevin and Brian but not compro.

Don't get too excited girls. Bruce and I are married but you can still dream.

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LOL! Thanks LP!

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Married? Me? lol

Speaking of Kevin....... This topic would be red meat for him

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I thought you were married. I must be thinking of Brian. Who was it that took his grandchildren to Paris? Brian? and where is Brian. We haven't heard from him in a while.

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I'm not sure if I'm the Brian to whom you're referring. But I've been busy with work this week trying to make sure I maintain at least the third '6'. Though I'm not sure what it matters since I fall 1/2 inch short in one of the other categories, so I'm seemingly out of luck if I have to go back on the dating market.

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If you are the long time poster on tis BBS, you're the Brian I'm talking about.

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I've been subscribing to the Free Press for a few months and usually comment on 2-4 articles per week. Certainly, I'm not as prolific as some.

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I took my grandkids to Rome last year. I have four children - 2 girls, 2 boys and 5 grandchildren. But no longer married.

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Rome, Paris. They are both foreign and don't speak American. It's hard to keep all these foreigners straight.

I like both cities but I am partial to Rome, better food.

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I can't wait to see his response.

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When I went back to college, I went to a target rich environment. It was called the girls' dorm. I met my future wife on a blind date. We have been happily married for 53 years.

If you don't go fishing, you don't catch fish.

The men described in this article, to me, sound like timid losers. Grow a backbone and ask out a woman you know. That is how it was done before dating apps were around.

Go out on a blind date. If it doesn't work out, try, try again. Success does not belong to the timid.

Face it. What woman wants to marry a wimp?

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This is what we need more of. People who haven't dated in over half a century telling young men what they are doing wrong.

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It appears the young men need advice from someone who cares.

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Very snarky

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And Sghoul wasn't snarky?

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I must have missed that lol

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Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't want to pass on something that actually worked to desperate people who are doing things that don't work. Let's keep up a culture of failure and not try proven techniques.

You are a real sage, a font of wisdom.

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I don't think the quality of men have changed in the last fifty years. Why would today's generation, if they grew up fifty years ago, be any different from the men in your time, or the men 100, 1000, 10000 years ago? I know the best success I've had with women is when I stop thinking, rely on my gut, and make a move. I'm sure it's the same for every guy. But the truth is there has never been a world in which so many women make more money than men, and a lot of them, honestly, make money just for being women.

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Active duty, which branch?

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Army. The funniest thing is my unit has an absurd number of false accusations regarding SHARP/Equal Opportunity, so I have a first-hand look at the kind of insanity going on that may not even be imaginable to anyone who previously served.

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The spectacle of a bunch of female senior NCOs of color filing EEO claims against each other must be witnessed to be believed.

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Yeah that didn't happen in the 80's lol.

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I spent three years in - airborne.

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It worked 50+ years ago with an entirely different generation. You know full well things have changed all over the place. And yet your advice is "Do it the way we did". I am not actually saying some of your advice doesn't have merit. I actually agree that women are attracted to manly-men. But you in no way acknowledge that the field has changed a bit since you were last out there. Many women now believe that manly traits are toxic (even while being attracted to it). So of course young men are confused and hesitant. I mean, we are talking about a modern culture that seriously has (had?) people talking about signing consent forms before a date.

Besides, this article isn't just about getting a date. It is about how some women seem to have changed their expectations of men. And how the changed status of women today (compared to 50 years ago) has also changed the dating dynamic.

I do apologize for being overly snarky. But I felt like your post was equally dismissive and thus responded the way I did.

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Thanks, I appreciate your remarks.

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53 years ago. Lololol. Maybe when you are done with dating advice you can tell us how to pay for a couple semesters of college with enough money left over to cover all the dates you found at the woman's dorm from your summer newspaper route.

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Thank you for your kind words.

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I do not think it is that simple anymore LP. It would get you a visit to HR, a post on the creepy guy site, . . ..

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Lynne, I am not saying ask someone at work. I'm saying ask a woman you know or have met outside of work.

There is an old saying about workplace romances, "You don't shit where you eat."

Crude but on the money.

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Before "me too," the workplace had replaced the church as the most common place for people to meet and start dating.

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True. Sorry for the misread.

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Nothing to be sorry about. In today's PC/Woke climate it is dangerous to your welfare to date at work and if the relationship goes south, awkward.

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Can't date a coworker now. Too dangerous for your career. IF you are a woman you can ask but not if you are a guy. No way.

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Lonesome, my husband and I met at work 43 years ago when the world was very different. I avoided dating anyone at work up to the point he walked in and we both knew we were "it". We married while still working together and I stayed until the birth of our first child. It saddens me to realize that in today's HR climate we very well may have missed out on our 40+ years of marriage. Work used to be a place where one could meet potential partners but no longer - too many risks especially for the men.

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I remember in college a particularly beautiful young woman was being squired around on the arm of a sleazy loser. A bunch of us guys were speculating about how she ended up going out with him. And a female friend, on overhearing the speculation, interjected "because he asked her, you idiots." Oh.

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Hilarious! Cue Elvis Costello. "Is she really going out with him?"

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That was Joe Jackson. A much better singer.

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I remember a similar story from my college days. Turns out the super hot chick was so hot that almost everyone was too intimidated to ask her out. But that was a different era.

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Cocaine seems also often to play a role, in my observation.

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Way too late in life for me to experiment. Even though I was fully a part of the NYC 80s madness, never indulged. There were too many other temptations... lol

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Exactly.

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You have described DC perfectly.

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