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Fortunes can change in an instant in politics, and Joe Biden’s decision to withdraw from the race yesterday was one such moment. Here are the winners and losers.
The winners:
Kamala Harris. You crash and burn in the 2020 Democratic primary but get picked by Joe Biden—who you insinuated was a racist—because he promised to appoint a woman of color. Now the Democratic elite is rallying around you, and you’re a shoo-in for the nomination. Not bad.
Barack Obama. “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to fuck things up,” said Obama once, in the most memorable line of the great orator’s career. Game, set, and match to the former president over the soon-to-be-former president in this underrated political rivalry.
Hunter Biden. The president’s recently convicted son emerged as one of his closest advisers in the last few weeks. He was urging his dad to fight on, so while he hasn’t gotten his way, he’s ultimately a winner, because the chances of a presidential pardon just went way up.
The Lord Almighty. Only the “Lord Almighty” could persuade me to step down, said Biden recently. The Lord hath spoken.
X. He just tweeted it out. Yes, the president of the United States announced his seismic decision with nothing more than a tweet. Reportedly, even White House aides first learned the news on the platform. Amid all the talk of a dying social network, yesterday’s news was a reminder that X will never die.
Nikki Haley. Back in February, Nikki Haley was mocked for predicting that Biden wouldn’t be the Democratic nominee. Okay, she said he’d be out within a month. But close enough.
Vivek Ramaswamy. Another Republican who called it.
Nancy Pelosi. She can stick in the shiv, and you don’t even know it. After Biden declared in a two-page letter he was staying in, she popped up on Morning Joe and put his departure back into play by saying, “It’s up to Biden to decide if he’s going to run.”
Drew Barrymore. The nation needs a Momala, she said in a personal-space-violating recent interview with the vice president. And a Momala we shall have.
Whichever Biden aide suggested an early debate. The decision to challenge Trump to a debate in June will surely go down as one of the worst calls in the history of presidential campaigns. Which is why the person who came up with this idea was surely running some kind of sabotage campaign. Mission accomplished!
The coronavirus. The pandemic sank Trump’s reelection. And now the virus struck Trump’s successor at his lowest ebb, possibly adding to the sense that the game was up. So Covid is 2-0 against American presidents.
Joe Biden. The Joe Biden rehab tour starts today! After being painted a selfish megalomaniac for staying in the race as long as he did, Joe Biden is already being talked of as a hero for the simple act of stepping down.
The losers:
Democratic primary voters. First, the Democrats hid Joe Biden’s mental decline from primary voters. Then, when his decline became obvious, they said to voters: “Just kidding—let’s go with someone else.”
Donald Trump. Kamala Harris may be an unpopular and untested candidate with many vulnerabilities, but she’s also compos mentis. For that reason alone, she clears the low bar of being a more formidable opponent than Joe Biden.
The media. Sure, he’s lost his fastball, but Biden is still up to the job and any suggestion otherwise is a little bit icky. That was the tone of most coverage of Biden’s age until the debate a month ago. And on that debate stage the legacy media—with a few notable exceptions—were caught in another lie.
Wolf Blitzer. On Sunday, the CNN stalwart was enjoying a “Wolf Spritzer” cocktail at happening D.C. Mexican spot El Presidente. Then the actual presidente ruined the fun by announcing he was dropping out. Just as he had a nice buzz going, poor Wolf had to hotfoot it back to the studio.
Ron Klain. Not everyone in the Democratic Party was doing their best to meet the moment after Biden’s announcement. “Now that the donors and electeds have pushed out the only candidate who has ever beaten Trump, it’s time to end the political fantasy games and unite behind the only veteran of a national campaign — our outstanding @vp, @KamalaHarris!! Let’s get real and win in November!” Way to keep it classy, Ron.
Andrew Bates. The Baghdad Bob of the Biden administration, press officer Andrew Bates, is as slavishly loyal as they come. “He’s just that fucking good,” he enthused after Biden spoke a few complete sentences at the recent NATO press conference. It’s just that fucking over, Andrew.
Jill Biden. Before the debate, Jill Biden had a reputation as a scholar, an educator, a molder of young minds. But Dr. Jill morphed into Dr. Macbeth over the past few weeks. At least she got that Vogue cover.
Oliver Wiseman is a writer and editor for The Free Press. Follow him on X @ollywiseman.
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Use common sense here: disagree, debate, but don't be a .