Listening to Abigail’s story about her grandmother, I was more curious about the character and example set for Grandma Bess by her childhood caretakers than Bess herself. Studies have found that children who have experienced trauma but had loving, caring caretakers or mentor, who set a good example and instilled resilience- knowingly or …
Listening to Abigail’s story about her grandmother, I was more curious about the character and example set for Grandma Bess by her childhood caretakers than Bess herself. Studies have found that children who have experienced trauma but had loving, caring caretakers or mentor, who set a good example and instilled resilience- knowingly or unknowingly - could mitigate the trauma and allow the child to become a resilient, successful, happy adult. Maybe the relatives who took Bess in, individually or accumulatively gave provided her the example she needed to become a well adjusted adult. If her caretakers were abusive, neglectful, shaming, etc she may not have turned out very well. And it’s for those kids from backgrounds where they weren’t cared for who truly need the therapeutic resources. One of our foster children was horribly abused - and we practice a form of gentle parenting with her that’s helped her thrive. We say yes when we can - though it’s easier saying yes when most of what she asks for is not harmful. But many of her classmates will talk about their trauma, and have parents who practice permissive parenting, and I’m thinking to myself this kid has no idea what trauma is. A Coach making an off color joke is not traumatic. Essentially, the more indulgent therapies and parenting approaches are beneficial to adults/kids who truly experienced trauma, but there has been a trauma concept creep that had widen the victim circle to include everyone who doesn’t like how they feel in any given moment. The therapy or parenting style isn’t the problem, it’s the people who don’t know what they are doing with them.
Listening to Abigail’s story about her grandmother, I was more curious about the character and example set for Grandma Bess by her childhood caretakers than Bess herself. Studies have found that children who have experienced trauma but had loving, caring caretakers or mentor, who set a good example and instilled resilience- knowingly or unknowingly - could mitigate the trauma and allow the child to become a resilient, successful, happy adult. Maybe the relatives who took Bess in, individually or accumulatively gave provided her the example she needed to become a well adjusted adult. If her caretakers were abusive, neglectful, shaming, etc she may not have turned out very well. And it’s for those kids from backgrounds where they weren’t cared for who truly need the therapeutic resources. One of our foster children was horribly abused - and we practice a form of gentle parenting with her that’s helped her thrive. We say yes when we can - though it’s easier saying yes when most of what she asks for is not harmful. But many of her classmates will talk about their trauma, and have parents who practice permissive parenting, and I’m thinking to myself this kid has no idea what trauma is. A Coach making an off color joke is not traumatic. Essentially, the more indulgent therapies and parenting approaches are beneficial to adults/kids who truly experienced trauma, but there has been a trauma concept creep that had widen the victim circle to include everyone who doesn’t like how they feel in any given moment. The therapy or parenting style isn’t the problem, it’s the people who don’t know what they are doing with them.