I'm not a fan of Brittany Spears, but I did go through a horrible hell with depression and concomitants for about 20 years, starting in my mid-teens.
In my experience, "intervention" was never helpful. Mostly because the people involved didn't really care what I was experiencing; they simply wanted me to "act normal" again.
I'm not a fan of Brittany Spears, but I did go through a horrible hell with depression and concomitants for about 20 years, starting in my mid-teens.
In my experience, "intervention" was never helpful. Mostly because the people involved didn't really care what I was experiencing; they simply wanted me to "act normal" again.
When I made a suicide attempt at age 21, NO ONE ASKED WHY. That was mind-blowing to me. Doctors and counselors and friends and family...no one seemed the least bit curious about what drove me to want to die.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I got real help...from "positive mental attitude" speakers who--ironically--didn't care much about me on a personal level, but who cared a great deal about how I, personally, could cope with the *reality* of what I was feeling and experiencing. It was they who helped me come to terms with the fact that no one but me cared about what was going on inside me, and that spending so much energy trying to get other people to care was a recipe for nothing but more and more misery. They gave me permission to feel whatever I chose to feel *for myself.*
I'm still kind of angry about the attitudes that everyone I cared about had toward my suffering. But I also recognize that they themselves may not have had the emotional wherewithal to react appropriately. The medical/psychological people, however, do not get a pass.
So while I don't care much personally about Brittany Spears, I do some empathy toward what she may have been put through by the people who were "just trying to help."
Celia, you are one of my absolute favourite commenters here. I am shocked to read that you were suicidal aged 21. You have “ pulled yourself together” admirably. In defence of those who don’t seem to care, we (I include myself) don’t understand the suffering and can’t bear to be around the negativity. I actually feel angry about the terrible, destructive impact that depressed/anxious/ suicidal behaviour of loved ones has on close family and friends. I too wish everyone could just “ act normal” for the sake of those around them.
I do volunteer work for two suicide-related charities and, initially, thought I wasn't helping anyone as they would tell about their terrible life circumstances which, in most cases, I was powerless to do anything about as were they (usually). Then I found a pattern of many people saying "thank you for listening to me" and also saying that NO ONE else seemed interested in them or how they felt and realized most people just want someone to hear what they have to say. I've found just asking friends and family "how are you feeling these days?" can often get an honest answer vs. the more casual/standard "How are you?" to which everyone says "fine" or "good."
I always look forward to your comments. It sounds to me ( I am not a doctor) that you now have a great handle on who and what you are, ( your self) . In today's world I have observed that such self awareness is not nearly as common as it should be. I talk with family and friends lot about this topic for many reasons but one is that most of us have the ability to know and love ourselves ( and in turn find ways to take care of and improve our selves ) if we are aware and make the effort. Glad you have found meaning and purpose in your life.
I've been there too and way more recently. The inconvenience of a suffering family member really wears on our loved ones. Glad to hear you're thriving now!
Behavioral approaches are useful tools. But ultimately it took Lexapro to erase the ugly realities of depression (and for me it was instant improvement from the first pill). Even with that, I still have depression, it's just *treated*. Vitamin D helps offset the seasonal element. But it's a defect in my DNA. Knowing that is also helpful: it's not a character flaw; it's a disease.
Been on lexapro off and on since 2013 and became a personal trainer which is my therapy. Never fails to improve my mood. Also taking accountability for my happiness and misery. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I’m glad you’ve recovered and I’m so sorry you suffered through that. Would you be comfortable sharing the names of some of the positive mental health attitude speakers who helped you?
Hopefully someone chimes in with some helpful books. Thanks for sharing, Celia. For me, forgiving my family was crucial to my mental health. Anytime I spiraled down I remembered “my family did the best they could. At times, their best wasn’t good enough but that just means I need to be stronger and more self reliant”
Wow, it's been over 30 years now, so I'm not sure I even remember anymore. They were local to my area at the time (Oregon), but started out connected to an outfit in...maybe Texas? Googling isn't bringing up anything that looks familiar. Sorry!
Thanks for your comment Celia. Simply acknowledging that you’re allowed to feel what you feel and that you’re allowed to help yourself is such an easy lesson that somehow takes so long to learn.
Perhaps it explains many of our journeys to this comment section
I'm not a fan of Brittany Spears, but I did go through a horrible hell with depression and concomitants for about 20 years, starting in my mid-teens.
In my experience, "intervention" was never helpful. Mostly because the people involved didn't really care what I was experiencing; they simply wanted me to "act normal" again.
When I made a suicide attempt at age 21, NO ONE ASKED WHY. That was mind-blowing to me. Doctors and counselors and friends and family...no one seemed the least bit curious about what drove me to want to die.
It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I got real help...from "positive mental attitude" speakers who--ironically--didn't care much about me on a personal level, but who cared a great deal about how I, personally, could cope with the *reality* of what I was feeling and experiencing. It was they who helped me come to terms with the fact that no one but me cared about what was going on inside me, and that spending so much energy trying to get other people to care was a recipe for nothing but more and more misery. They gave me permission to feel whatever I chose to feel *for myself.*
I'm still kind of angry about the attitudes that everyone I cared about had toward my suffering. But I also recognize that they themselves may not have had the emotional wherewithal to react appropriately. The medical/psychological people, however, do not get a pass.
So while I don't care much personally about Brittany Spears, I do some empathy toward what she may have been put through by the people who were "just trying to help."
Celia, you are one of my absolute favourite commenters here. I am shocked to read that you were suicidal aged 21. You have “ pulled yourself together” admirably. In defence of those who don’t seem to care, we (I include myself) don’t understand the suffering and can’t bear to be around the negativity. I actually feel angry about the terrible, destructive impact that depressed/anxious/ suicidal behaviour of loved ones has on close family and friends. I too wish everyone could just “ act normal” for the sake of those around them.
I do volunteer work for two suicide-related charities and, initially, thought I wasn't helping anyone as they would tell about their terrible life circumstances which, in most cases, I was powerless to do anything about as were they (usually). Then I found a pattern of many people saying "thank you for listening to me" and also saying that NO ONE else seemed interested in them or how they felt and realized most people just want someone to hear what they have to say. I've found just asking friends and family "how are you feeling these days?" can often get an honest answer vs. the more casual/standard "How are you?" to which everyone says "fine" or "good."
I always look forward to your comments. It sounds to me ( I am not a doctor) that you now have a great handle on who and what you are, ( your self) . In today's world I have observed that such self awareness is not nearly as common as it should be. I talk with family and friends lot about this topic for many reasons but one is that most of us have the ability to know and love ourselves ( and in turn find ways to take care of and improve our selves ) if we are aware and make the effort. Glad you have found meaning and purpose in your life.
I've been there too and way more recently. The inconvenience of a suffering family member really wears on our loved ones. Glad to hear you're thriving now!
Behavioral approaches are useful tools. But ultimately it took Lexapro to erase the ugly realities of depression (and for me it was instant improvement from the first pill). Even with that, I still have depression, it's just *treated*. Vitamin D helps offset the seasonal element. But it's a defect in my DNA. Knowing that is also helpful: it's not a character flaw; it's a disease.
Been on lexapro off and on since 2013 and became a personal trainer which is my therapy. Never fails to improve my mood. Also taking accountability for my happiness and misery. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I’m glad you’ve recovered and I’m so sorry you suffered through that. Would you be comfortable sharing the names of some of the positive mental health attitude speakers who helped you?
Hopefully someone chimes in with some helpful books. Thanks for sharing, Celia. For me, forgiving my family was crucial to my mental health. Anytime I spiraled down I remembered “my family did the best they could. At times, their best wasn’t good enough but that just means I need to be stronger and more self reliant”
Wow, it's been over 30 years now, so I'm not sure I even remember anymore. They were local to my area at the time (Oregon), but started out connected to an outfit in...maybe Texas? Googling isn't bringing up anything that looks familiar. Sorry!
That’s okay, it’s a good place to start. I’ll dig around. Thank you. ❤️
Thanks for your comment Celia. Simply acknowledging that you’re allowed to feel what you feel and that you’re allowed to help yourself is such an easy lesson that somehow takes so long to learn.
Perhaps it explains many of our journeys to this comment section