Was the Opening Ceremony Demonic, or Just Cringe?

You might recall the epic 2008 Beijing opening ceremony, which showcased the four great Chinese inventions: the compass, gunpowder, paper, and typesetting. This one in Paris, put up last Friday, celebrated analogous French contributions like threesomes, the Minions franchise, and dressing like a clown. 

The kickoff to the 2024 summer games was not the usual Olympic fare. For starters, it didn’t take place in a stadium. Instead, it followed a hooded figure with the torch who zipped all over the city, through the Louvre, into a theater, along the Seine, and in the catacombs. His journey was interspersed with Lady Gaga doing cabaret, circus performers, Celine Dion, a metal band, streamers, a piano on fire, can-can dancers, animation, and Louis Vuitton luggage makers. 

So why did the whole thing feel so disjointed and uninteresting? 

The whole three hours was like a bad brainstorm. Guys, what if the city is our canvas and we are the paint? At one point, the commentator Mike Tirico, presumably reading from a script, deadpanned “The individual with the torch has taken the torch on a zip line,” as Kelly Clarkson oohed and aahed. The can-can dancers were purposefully uncoordinated. The Lady Gaga performance worked well—for the Tonys. Instead of the athletes marching into the stadium, heads held high, they were packed onto party boats floating on the Seine in the pouring rain, ponchos over their sharp Ralph Lauren blazers. 

I’ll give the French points for hustle and for Celine Dion—her performance from the Eiffel Tower at the end was impressive. 

But then there was the fashion show-come-dance party featuring a bunch of dolled-up drag queens, including the host of Drag Race France Nicky Doll and the singer Philippe Katerine, who performed nearly naked—but painted blue from head to toe like a giant chubby Smurf—from a silver platter filled with fruit. 

That section is what’s caused the most controversy; it appears the performers were lined up to emulate da Vinci’s Last Supper, except gay. The speaker of the house called it “shocking and insulting to Christian people around the world.” Elon Musk called it “extremely disrespectful to Christians,” while American bishops declared it blasphemous. I don’t think the display was offensive to Christians so much as embarrassing for France. The fashion show kiki was certainly gratuitous, but it wasn’t edgy, or interesting. As Matt Taibbi pointed out, “this is like Robin DiAngelo’s idea of daring.” 

The Olympic opening ceremony is an opportunity to showcase the best of the host country: their inventions and innovations, their proudest achievements and their physical prowess. Back in Beijing, China subbed in a cuter 7-year-old girl to lip-synch a song that was really being sung behind the curtain by a more talented 9-year-old because the older girl had crooked teeth. And you’re telling me the best France has to offer is a man with a beard twerking in a bustier? 

Thomas Jolly, the choreographer responsible for this slopfest, told the AP, “My wish isn’t to be subversive, nor to mock or to shock. Most of all, I wanted to send a message of love, a message of inclusion and not at all to divide.”

But inclusion is not the point of the Olympics. Quite the opposite. Excellence is the point. There are only so many spots, and medals, and the winners get gold by being the best—and that’s okay. 

Be offended for the people of France, not the people of faith, for this sad display. Because under the glitz and set pieces, and cheeky sexuality and overt sexuality, I’m still not sure what this Olympics opening ceremony was trying to say. 

Suzy Weiss is a reporter at The Free Press. Read her piece on gold and follow her on X @SnoozyWeiss. And subscribe to The Free Press: 

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