For ten years, New Yorkers have been wondering what kind of weirdo would leave a mutilated bear corpse in Central Park; now, we know the answer is. . . well, pretty much exactly the kind of weirdo you’d think. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., third-party presidential candidate and black sheep of the Kennedy clan, released a video on X on Sunday revealing that he was responsible for the 2014 incident, dumping the bear and staging the scene (badly) to look like a bike accident. The account must be seen to be believed—although I should note, having grown up in the part of rural New York where much of the action allegedly took place, that I do believe it, and furthermore guarantee you that is not the first time a wealthy person LARPing as a redneck has gotten into trouble with a bear carcass.
Here’s the thing: this bear incident has been an unsolved mystery for a decade, and you just know it’s not the only story of its kind that RFK has been holding back. And so, under the circumstances, here are some other mysteries I think we should all be taking another look at:
The Montauk Monster
We already know the man likes to leave mysterious animal carcasses in public places; honestly, this one isn’t even a reach.
The Nightmare Clown Panic of 2016
What if this isn’t RFK’s first time wreaking havoc during an election year?
The Hijacking of Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305
In 1971, a mysterious hijacker named D.B. Cooper stole $200,000 and jumped from the plane, never to be seen again. RFK Jr. raised $5 million and jumped off a cliff. Coincidence? Maybe.
The Mothman
“So I was driving through West Virginia late one night after a dinner at Peter Luger’s steak house, and someone’s porch light was on. . . ”
The Assassination of John F. Kennedy
Look, everyone else is thinking it, so I’m just going to say it: What if there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll, but he was very, very small?
Kat Rosenfield is a columnist at The Free Press. Read her piece about Judy Blume and follow her on X @katrosenfield.
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