TGIF: To the Window, to the Walz

I’m back! Despite the best efforts of the TGIF comment section to get me sent to The Free Press Gulag for being a snowflaking, Trump-deranged, gender nonconforming, purple-haired SJW, Nellie is too busy chest-feeding her theyby to find another sub so you’re stuck with me once again. TGIF. Let’s get to the news.

→ A veep of her own: Fresh from poisoning Joe Biden’s cornflakes, Kamala Harris announced that Minnesota governor Tim Walz will be her vice presidential running mate, leading the population of the 49 states that aren’t Minnesota to shout out a collective: Tim who? Personally, I find it kind of bizarre: she could have gone with a literal astronaut, but apparently Harris preferred the guy who’s never even seen the earth from outer space and whose biggest claim to fame is making “weird” happen.

Now, I’m not a Kamala fan and thought that naming her as VP was a mistake on Biden’s part. Yeah, she’s got the gametes and skin tone he was looking for, but she’s never been popular, especially outside of her home state. She did so poorly in the 2020 primary that she dropped out two months before Iowa. Why would you choose a successor who nobody wanted to be president? We all know why, but I may have been wrong about her electability. It’s incontestable that Kamala has real momentum, and Walz seems to be a welcome addition to the crew. Oddly, his background isn’t that different from rival J.D. Vance: they both have blue-collar pedigrees, served in the military, and used education to work their way up. Unlike J.D. Vance, however, Walz has never had sex with a couch. He’s from Minnesota; he had sex with a sofa.

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May 19, 2021

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