Ladies, Stop Sex Striking for Kamala

Babe, wake up: We’re doing sexual blackmail for feminism again.

Amid outrage over the fall of Roe v. Wade in June 2022, certain liberal women developed a novel strategy for creating a blue wave of backlash in the upcoming midterms. The problem, women agreed, was that too many men were voting Republican; the solution, obviously, was to withhold sex from these men until they changed their wicked ways. It was an idea that reached its apotheosis just before the elections, when a voting initiative produced a raunchy music video titled “No Voting, No Vucking” (say it out loud and you’ll get it).

The popularity of this tactic, let alone its effectiveness, was never entirely clear. But it’s beginning to look like a recurring feature of the political discourse: In the wake of last week’s election, progressive women, who are outraged over Donald Trump’s victory at the ballot box, have taken to social media with public, vengeful vows of chastity. 

“All I have to say is good luck getting laid,” cackles a wide-eyed blonde in a representative video that went viral after being reposted on X. A TikToker with an auburn bob and spiky laminated eyebrows announces, “Baby, if you wanted to touch my body, you should have voted for it.” Some women are even shaving their heads, in an apparent attempt to repel any men who might approach them while they’re on sex strike.

The way these women see it, Trump was the anti-woman candidate: a porn star-schtupping, pussy-grabbing, court-adjudicated rapist whose conservative Supreme Court appointees will shortly turn America into a Handmaid’s Tale-style dystopia. And who put him back in the White House? Men, that’s who! (Or so the argument goes; that 46 percent of female voters also went for Trump is conveniently overlooked.) And so it’s the men who must be punished, in the only way we know how: by withholding sex until the balls of the average male Republican voter are as blue as an electoral map in the most petit-bourgeois part of Park Slope.