Pacificus, in my anger, I unsubscribed, but as it stays active for a month, I have time to apologize for being "rude or obscene." It's truly not like me to say things like that.
The question of why I lost my temper has been troubling me. It wasn't that I've never had my views challenged. I think now it was that I was unprepared for the p…
Pacificus, in my anger, I unsubscribed, but as it stays active for a month, I have time to apologize for being "rude or obscene." It's truly not like me to say things like that.
The question of why I lost my temper has been troubling me. It wasn't that I've never had my views challenged. I think now it was that I was unprepared for the passionate intensity of the opposition here and, more, by how totally outnumbered I'd be. I wasn't prepared for how vulnerable I would feel, in that context, both protective of my child and defensive of myself as a mother. I felt like I'd naively strolled straight into a firehose of misrepresentation, judgement, and calumny aimed directly at my most personal experiences: mothers like me are wannabe hipsters mutilating their kids' genitals to be trendy; or we're pathetic, brainwashed dupes; or we're out-and-out child abusers.
I didn't get that feeling from most of the folks who replied to me, but from tenor of the comments as a whole. As for your comments above, I realize they upset me both for the reasons I stated, and because they functionally situated my parenting choices on a spectrum with historical horrors ranging from slavery to the Holocaust.
Anyway, I'm sure my comments weren't keeping you up at night, but it bothered me that I might remain evidence for you (and other readers) of the world being filled with rude, angry people. As evidence that we really can't get along. Especially because I don't believe that. I believe that, aside from actual psychopaths, we all mean well and we're all doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. I'm sorry I was a jerk.
And please know my child is well-loved and protected. In the scheme of human suffering, he is one of the world's lucky ones.
"Especially because I don't believe that. I believe that, aside from actual psychopaths, we all mean well and we're all doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time." Beautifully said, and so true.
Zara, the passionate intensity of so many of the responders (myself included) was sparked by the outrageous story that confirmed what many of us already knew, sort of--that the "transition" industry for children is an incomprehensibly barbaric surgical response to the struggles with gender identity that have suddenly become epidemic, esp in girls. "We are building the plane while we are flying it"--certainly a candidate for the Grisly Quote of the Year.
And if you question any of this, or the related insanity of the "gender identity movment," you are labeled a "phobe," and cancelled--if it can happen to JK Rowling, it can happen to anyone. Again, that is where the emotional intensity of the commenters is coming from, I think.
That said, if I have uoset you with my remarks, I am deeply sorry. I will be thinking about you, and praying for you and your child, and wish you nothing but the best. Don't knowh ow we could set up an ongoing channel for communication, but if you would like that and think it might be helpful, I am willing to do so.
Thanks for this understanding and helpful response. Even liberals - especially moderate liberals like me - chafe at the severity of the “cancel culture” practiced by some impassioned activists. Their voices are powerful. Problem is we tend, as a country, to swing between extremes - the outcry then the backlash. Often caught between are the people whom the issue actually affects and who just want good information and basic compassion and not to be anybody’s political football.
I would love to be able to carry on the type of conversation that could help different “sides” understand each other even if it’s impossible to agree on everything - or anything! I don’t know how to make it happen. I don’t feel comfortable sharing any contact information here. Maybe somebody else will read this and know how to do it safely. Or if somebody knows of a website or other online space specifically for people who want to have such conversations, I’d be very interested. Folks here doubted it, but I really do love talking to my conservative family members (the only ones I socialize with). Even as they’ve gone further to the right, and even when we can’t find common ground, we’re always able to make the other feel that the most important thing is we love and respect each other as human beings. And we can still have a load of fun together. I wish more people had this experience.
Whatever happens, I’m glad we revisited our conversation and so can leave with some hope or even slightly greater faith in humanity. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out in kindness.
Zara (if I may) thank you so much for your heartfelt and sincere reply...just skimming through it here for a moment, I feel as if we have much in common--more, perhaps, than either of us thought possible as of yesterday.
Please allow me to reflect a bit on what you have said and respond in greater detail later today or tomorrow.
Pacificus, in my anger, I unsubscribed, but as it stays active for a month, I have time to apologize for being "rude or obscene." It's truly not like me to say things like that.
The question of why I lost my temper has been troubling me. It wasn't that I've never had my views challenged. I think now it was that I was unprepared for the passionate intensity of the opposition here and, more, by how totally outnumbered I'd be. I wasn't prepared for how vulnerable I would feel, in that context, both protective of my child and defensive of myself as a mother. I felt like I'd naively strolled straight into a firehose of misrepresentation, judgement, and calumny aimed directly at my most personal experiences: mothers like me are wannabe hipsters mutilating their kids' genitals to be trendy; or we're pathetic, brainwashed dupes; or we're out-and-out child abusers.
I didn't get that feeling from most of the folks who replied to me, but from tenor of the comments as a whole. As for your comments above, I realize they upset me both for the reasons I stated, and because they functionally situated my parenting choices on a spectrum with historical horrors ranging from slavery to the Holocaust.
Anyway, I'm sure my comments weren't keeping you up at night, but it bothered me that I might remain evidence for you (and other readers) of the world being filled with rude, angry people. As evidence that we really can't get along. Especially because I don't believe that. I believe that, aside from actual psychopaths, we all mean well and we're all doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. I'm sorry I was a jerk.
And please know my child is well-loved and protected. In the scheme of human suffering, he is one of the world's lucky ones.
"Especially because I don't believe that. I believe that, aside from actual psychopaths, we all mean well and we're all doing the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time." Beautifully said, and so true.
Zara, the passionate intensity of so many of the responders (myself included) was sparked by the outrageous story that confirmed what many of us already knew, sort of--that the "transition" industry for children is an incomprehensibly barbaric surgical response to the struggles with gender identity that have suddenly become epidemic, esp in girls. "We are building the plane while we are flying it"--certainly a candidate for the Grisly Quote of the Year.
And if you question any of this, or the related insanity of the "gender identity movment," you are labeled a "phobe," and cancelled--if it can happen to JK Rowling, it can happen to anyone. Again, that is where the emotional intensity of the commenters is coming from, I think.
That said, if I have uoset you with my remarks, I am deeply sorry. I will be thinking about you, and praying for you and your child, and wish you nothing but the best. Don't knowh ow we could set up an ongoing channel for communication, but if you would like that and think it might be helpful, I am willing to do so.
Much love, Pacificus.
Thanks for this understanding and helpful response. Even liberals - especially moderate liberals like me - chafe at the severity of the “cancel culture” practiced by some impassioned activists. Their voices are powerful. Problem is we tend, as a country, to swing between extremes - the outcry then the backlash. Often caught between are the people whom the issue actually affects and who just want good information and basic compassion and not to be anybody’s political football.
I would love to be able to carry on the type of conversation that could help different “sides” understand each other even if it’s impossible to agree on everything - or anything! I don’t know how to make it happen. I don’t feel comfortable sharing any contact information here. Maybe somebody else will read this and know how to do it safely. Or if somebody knows of a website or other online space specifically for people who want to have such conversations, I’d be very interested. Folks here doubted it, but I really do love talking to my conservative family members (the only ones I socialize with). Even as they’ve gone further to the right, and even when we can’t find common ground, we’re always able to make the other feel that the most important thing is we love and respect each other as human beings. And we can still have a load of fun together. I wish more people had this experience.
Whatever happens, I’m glad we revisited our conversation and so can leave with some hope or even slightly greater faith in humanity. Thank you again for taking the time to reach out in kindness.
Zara (if I may) thank you so much for your heartfelt and sincere reply...just skimming through it here for a moment, I feel as if we have much in common--more, perhaps, than either of us thought possible as of yesterday.
Please allow me to reflect a bit on what you have said and respond in greater detail later today or tomorrow.