In 1977, when I was 17, my dad was killed in an auto accident that killed two others and almost killed my mom. I have spent many years considering how I, and my family, responded to this sudden tragedy. I developed an epigram about grief which is this: "There is no 'one way' to respond to grievous circumstances." I enjoyed listening to C…
In 1977, when I was 17, my dad was killed in an auto accident that killed two others and almost killed my mom. I have spent many years considering how I, and my family, responded to this sudden tragedy. I developed an epigram about grief which is this: "There is no 'one way' to respond to grievous circumstances." I enjoyed listening to Collin's discourse but stop well short of endorsing his advice on how a person should respond. What he described was effective for him, and helped him make some sense of his tragic circumstance. Yet in his discussion, and in Bari's interviewing of him, I deduced a sense from both of them that "This is the way". Because I philosophically agree with much of Colin's opinions, which only marks me for confirmation bias, I am wary of that response. If in listening a person is uncertain of how they'd react in grief, if they aren't sure they could do as Colin did, it's all right to be uncertain. "Embracing the suck" is exactly my way of dealing with difficulties, but it is not something one can just "do" or "be". I do appreciate most, however, his circumstance of NOT avoiding a person in the midst of grief. Be present with them. Listen to them. SEE them as a person, not merely a tragic figure.
As always, thoughtful and compelling content from Bari and her team.
In 1977, when I was 17, my dad was killed in an auto accident that killed two others and almost killed my mom. I have spent many years considering how I, and my family, responded to this sudden tragedy. I developed an epigram about grief which is this: "There is no 'one way' to respond to grievous circumstances." I enjoyed listening to Collin's discourse but stop well short of endorsing his advice on how a person should respond. What he described was effective for him, and helped him make some sense of his tragic circumstance. Yet in his discussion, and in Bari's interviewing of him, I deduced a sense from both of them that "This is the way". Because I philosophically agree with much of Colin's opinions, which only marks me for confirmation bias, I am wary of that response. If in listening a person is uncertain of how they'd react in grief, if they aren't sure they could do as Colin did, it's all right to be uncertain. "Embracing the suck" is exactly my way of dealing with difficulties, but it is not something one can just "do" or "be". I do appreciate most, however, his circumstance of NOT avoiding a person in the midst of grief. Be present with them. Listen to them. SEE them as a person, not merely a tragic figure.
As always, thoughtful and compelling content from Bari and her team.