The Free Press
Glam was back yesterday in D.C., for most everyone other than Kamala Harris, who wore a casual leisure suit that screamed both “Chico’s” and “Give me the other half of the Xanax, Doug.”
We don’t blame her. The weather alone—in a word: arctic—was enough to make anyone want to curl up in a fetal position. It was so cold that the swearing-in ceremony was moved inside to the Capitol Rotunda.
Most of the ladies—Ivanka Trump; Melania Trump; Usha Vance—stuck to their long-planned outdoor looks. But not Lauren Sánchez, who gave D.C. its biggest dose of sex since the Lewinsky scandal, with her white lace corset peeking from the top of her sparkling-white blazer—the whole look was by Alexander McQueen. Verdict: wildly inappropriate, totally awesome. Mark Zuckerberg was pleased.
Popular this year were monochromatic looks; Ivanka in ink green; Jill Biden in sock-it-to-ya purple all the way down.
Naturally, Melania Trump won the day—it’s a little like pitting Brett Favre against a middle school flag football team, but thems the rules—in her long navy silk-wool coat over a cream blouse by New York–based designer Adam Lippes, and that matching hat by Eric Javits. How this woman was able to pull off a topper that not only obscured half of her face but looked so sharp it might be the understudy for a circular saw is a testimony to Slovenian bone structure and understanding one’s angles.
Not since Lincoln’s stovepipe has a hat been so well-worn in our nation’s capital. Though this one did a better job of protecting her from unwanted contact—including from her own husband. Melania finished off the look with black leather gloves and navy Manolo Blahnik pumps. Notes? None. The memes are already legion, including ones comparing the first lady to Carmen Sandiego.
Second Lady Usha Vance—who, though newly yassified, has seemingly resisted the Juviderm that’s in the water at Mar-a-Lago—looked beautiful in a pink Oscar de la Renta cashmere. That she barely wears makeup and doesn’t dye her hair counts as feminist #Resistance in the second Trump admin. Her best accessory turned out to be the three Band-Aids wrapped around the tiny fingers of her toddler, Mirabel.
Anyone who denies Ivanka Trump’s beauty is denying reality. But yesterday was a rare miss. She looked something like a beetle—both the car, and the bug—in her green outfit. Whoever authorized that hair—a tight, low bun shellacked to the side of her neck—I think is a Chinese spy, and the hat, a hard, green melting M & M—was not doing her any favors. There was too much fabric, too much belt, just too much going on. Her other looks from the weekend, especially the off-the-shoulder gown she wore to the inaugural candlelight dinner the night before, were 10 out of 10.
In a day of fashion hit or misses, a few more honorable mentions: Tiffany Trump looked elegant in blue velvet—a nod to the late auteur David Lynch, perhaps?—and Priscilla Chan, the wife of Mark Zuckerberg, chose a powder blue Bottega set and pearls that worked well for the occasion. She cut a wildly different figure than Sánchez two seats down, but overall it was a relief to see the tech set—Google CEO Sundar Pichai, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos—suited up instead of in their traditional garb (hoodies, fleece quarter zips with their own company’s logo embroidered on them). Joe Rogan was also in the audience wearing a black suit with a black shirt and black tie; an odd combo, but it could have been worse.
Meanwhile, Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman rolled up in a look that if he were anyone else, would have been grounds for censure. He was in gray athletic shorts, a black hoodie, and running shoes. At the presidential inauguration. But alas, Fetterman has fashion immunity, granted by the most high, to wear wherever the hell he wants.
My wish for the next four years? World peace, of course. But after that, more brooches, more head-to-toe camel looks à la Arabella Kushner, and less business formal slate dresses with cowl necks (sorry, Carrie Underwood).
And what of the man of the hour? DJT, freshly, uh, tanned, offered us a very uncharacteristic blue and red patterned tie rather than his signature red. Perhaps a sign he will moderate and reach across the aisle? He also offered his own fashion critique at his address to his supporters in the overflow room after the swearing-in, jabbing at his tier-1 guests.
“You’re more powerful than them, you look better than them, and I love you,” he said.
Sometimes the news moves so fast, you have to look closely to recognize if you’ve seen it before. Check out Eli Lake’s new podcast, “Breaking History,” where he breaks down the news by breaking down history. Premiering January 22 on all podcasting platforms.