Im an Orthodox Jew (American). Despite highly inaccurate media portrayals of forced marriages and deeply unhappy wives, here are the facts: like in every culture, marital happiness here is personal and varies and has much more to do with interpersonal dynamics between the couple than religion. But here's what I will say. Around 90% of us…
Im an Orthodox Jew (American). Despite highly inaccurate media portrayals of forced marriages and deeply unhappy wives, here are the facts: like in every culture, marital happiness here is personal and varies and has much more to do with interpersonal dynamics between the couple than religion. But here's what I will say. Around 90% of us get married and I think most are happy, but you'd have to ask. In the Hasidic world (not mine - no not every orthodox Jew is Hasidic) it's pretty common to get engaged after 2 weeks. Not ideal for people in my circle. We date for a couple of months with the help of a match maker who sets us up, and those on the date date chiefly for marriage. I dated my husband for about three months. Got engaged three months later. Got married three months after that. Never looked back. We're very happy together and very much in love - okay it's only been two years, but he's a gem. But I think our expectations and outlook are different coming in to the dating scene and that's why it works, it has for me and my siblings and friends. Most of us get married for life. The expectation is that unless it's something deeply destructive, you work on yourself and your marriage if it's not going well (most people probably feel this way in general, I'm assuming, not just Orthodox Jews). Divorce happens, it's becoming more common, but it's still lower than average - about 10 percent. People get married to be married - they do it young, have kids and the whole shebang. It's a communal expectation, it pushes people out of their comfort zone, to focus on being marriage minded from a younger age and it works.
p.s. the war between the sexes - it doesn't really exist here. I mean sure, there's inequities on both sides, but that's to be expected - we weren't created equal. And not to say we don't have our share of issues, but it's not catastrophic, people are still getting married and staying married.
Im an Orthodox Jew (American). Despite highly inaccurate media portrayals of forced marriages and deeply unhappy wives, here are the facts: like in every culture, marital happiness here is personal and varies and has much more to do with interpersonal dynamics between the couple than religion. But here's what I will say. Around 90% of us get married and I think most are happy, but you'd have to ask. In the Hasidic world (not mine - no not every orthodox Jew is Hasidic) it's pretty common to get engaged after 2 weeks. Not ideal for people in my circle. We date for a couple of months with the help of a match maker who sets us up, and those on the date date chiefly for marriage. I dated my husband for about three months. Got engaged three months later. Got married three months after that. Never looked back. We're very happy together and very much in love - okay it's only been two years, but he's a gem. But I think our expectations and outlook are different coming in to the dating scene and that's why it works, it has for me and my siblings and friends. Most of us get married for life. The expectation is that unless it's something deeply destructive, you work on yourself and your marriage if it's not going well (most people probably feel this way in general, I'm assuming, not just Orthodox Jews). Divorce happens, it's becoming more common, but it's still lower than average - about 10 percent. People get married to be married - they do it young, have kids and the whole shebang. It's a communal expectation, it pushes people out of their comfort zone, to focus on being marriage minded from a younger age and it works.
p.s. the war between the sexes - it doesn't really exist here. I mean sure, there's inequities on both sides, but that's to be expected - we weren't created equal. And not to say we don't have our share of issues, but it's not catastrophic, people are still getting married and staying married.