‘Be good, be strong, and don’t forget us,’ my great-grandfather wrote to his son before he was killed in the Holocaust. We won’t. The new life growing inside of me is my promise.
They say every American remember where he was and what he was doing when he learnt about 9/11. I am french, but I do too (I was 12 years old at the time).
Yet, I also remember exactly what I was doing when I learnt about October 7th.
It was the middle of the night, and I was I my bed, nursing my two months old baby. She was still very slow to drink then, and to pass time, I used to read news on my phone or books on my Kindle.
And so, browsing CNN.com, I learned about the horror of what was still unfolding in Israel. And it the following days it got worse, as I learned about the rapes, the kids butchered in front of parents and vice versa.
Yesterday I started reading Bari's article about the 1 year anniversary.
And I stopped as soon as I saw the photo of the mother terrified with her two kids in her arms.
Having your children killed or taken from you is the worst nightmare every parent has, and I just can't confront it.
Somehow, the terror of this mother is mine, and I just can't face it. I can't even read about it without fearing for my own children (I am not a Jew, if you wonder).
How some people can support Hamas / Hezbollah / Iran and hate the Jews is beyond me.
Congratulations to the author for having another baby, I wish you the best ❤️.
Thanks for sharing this powerful story of your family. I am sending it to family/friends. I was choked up with tears reading the goodbye letters from your great- grandparents to your grandfather.
Remember Au Revoir les Enfants, the film by Louis Malle?
It was 1958, so not that long after WW11. I had been raised in a small country town but had just moved into the "big City". I was raised as a good Episcopalian boy and became an acolyte at my church. I did not know what a Jew even was or meant. Had no idea really of different religions. Then one day at my high school a girl asked me to a dance. I said yes, she was beautiful, friendly and I was instantly captured by her so as a young boy we became clearly boy friend girl friend. I had a big family and she met my brothers, sisters and parents and grand parent but I never met hers. Until one day she nervously asked me to dinner. I did not know her parents had never allowed her or her sister to date a gentile. I of course had no idea what a gentile was and that I was one. Over the course of many months I came close with her family. I of course learned that they were Jewish but to me it meant nothing special. I was an Episcopalian and She was Jewish, big deal. Then the SHOCK, the STUNNER , THE STORY that remains to me today as i write about this for the first time in many, many years. After a Birthday Party I found myself sitting with her grandmother, sitting in the only "special occasion living room" that several Jewish friends mothers also had. We were alone siting side by side, she was this tiny woman who had hardly ever spoken to me. I noticed something on her forearm and yes like an idiot I asked her if she had accidently forgot to wipe off a scribble. She looked at me very calmy but silently for a long time and I knew somehow I just screwed up big time, I did something wrong. I now ask you, as you read this, how would you have reacted at the age of 16 in 1958 to what I was about to hear from Bubbe! My Uncles had all been in WW1 and one was a pilot and became a a POW for over a Year. They, as you know never talked, but I knew about the war of course. However, not what truly happened and certainly to the Jews who I had known nothing about. She held my hand and slowly began to ask me questions and tell me a story. To say I became silent, scared, nervous understates big time to what I was feeling. Mostly I felt i had done some thing terribly wrong. She calmly slowly told me what had happened to her. How she personally survived but covered that quickly and delved more into what had happened to her family and millions of other Jews. Truthfully, at that time I thought much of what she said could NOT POSSIBLY BE TRUE!!!! Bubbe was a sweet older lady who had just perhaps exaggerated some of her history. However, I was incredibly stunned at all that had occurred that night and mentioned it casually to my older brother. He said basically what she said did happen and things occurred in the war that were horrible. Still thinking I had done something wrong I never mentioned it to my girlfriend for about a month until one day while driving i told her that I had asked Bubbe what that thing on her arm was and that she told me. She literally grabbed my leg and screamed and told me to pull over. Actually screaming at me She said YOU DID WHAT? Then, astoundingly, she said that do you know that she has never told me or my sister anything. She just never talks. I think only my mother knows !!! I apologize for this novella and getting this story off my chest after so many years. I have had many Jewish friends over the years and my love and admiration for the Torah, Judaism and the history of Israel is deep, immense and unwavering. My disgust and anger over the reaction of people in America, especially our so called elite educated youth, who have chosen to be blind to History and swallow the hate and bigotry is without borders. It makes me weep for my children and grandchildren.
Touching story. Thank you. My experience is almost identical to your in our "ignorance." I am Jewish and grew up in Los Angeles. I went off to UCLA in 1969. My roommate was Japanese-American. As we got to know each other, she told me her family's story of how her parents met each other at the Santa Anita Race Track. I laughed and thought that was funny that they met at "the races." Ignorant! They were interned there during WWII. I had never heard of the internments - not from my parents, not in AP History classes. I called my parents (long distance) and yelled at them: "How could you NOT have told me about this???? How could Jews have put up with this????" My parents were from Boston. My mother said the news during the war was filtered and limited, unlike the news in 1969. She said they really didn't know what was happening in California. Yet, two decades later, there had still been no mention of that historic fact. So, one did not need to be from a tiny, small town with limited access to Jews. Ignorance of "the other" seems to have always existed.
When I read these kinds of stories, I often think about my many childless friends, or the girls I know how had multiple abortions, or those that had kids and refused to build relationships with them. It's sad, Having kids and loving them is an act of faith in the future, and so many of the Jews who died in the various pogroms still did it, still had kids, still loved them, still practiced their faith, and are still with us. Mine is a selfish generation of Americans with faith in nothing but a good time, which shall not be interrupted by anything, including creating the future. I was spared this fate, and I love my kids and would suffer all over again for them. They gave more than they took. A big loving family is the greatest gift one can have. That we live in safety and abundance here in the USA is also a gift, and I cherish it. Maybe one day the Jews will live in peace, and when that day comes, I hope they retain their vitality. Easy living corrodes.
No words to express my gratitude for this. It explains what I’ve never gotten to in 60 years of psychotherapy (I am soon to turn 76). My people fled the Pogroms. The “neurotic conditions” I worked so hard to heal from, the things I blamed my parents and grandparents for … turns out it was the murderous Jew-hating they’d endured — plain, simple, horrible, and ancient.
I have no words to say how deeply your story affects me. I am so glad you and your husband decided to have another child. Our world needs more folks such as you. Blessings and G-d's love and grace.
"I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed." (Deuteronomy 30:19)
This is something that the enemies of the Jewish people, who have tried to destroy them in every age, have never understood and will never understand. The Jewish people choose life. It's still an act of great courage.
God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.
One of the most beautiful lines from the Torah. As Jews, we love and value life and try every day to feel gratitude for the life we were given. Our enemies value death and evil. We cannot let the world descend into hell again.
They say every American remember where he was and what he was doing when he learnt about 9/11. I am french, but I do too (I was 12 years old at the time).
Yet, I also remember exactly what I was doing when I learnt about October 7th.
It was the middle of the night, and I was I my bed, nursing my two months old baby. She was still very slow to drink then, and to pass time, I used to read news on my phone or books on my Kindle.
And so, browsing CNN.com, I learned about the horror of what was still unfolding in Israel. And it the following days it got worse, as I learned about the rapes, the kids butchered in front of parents and vice versa.
Yesterday I started reading Bari's article about the 1 year anniversary.
And I stopped as soon as I saw the photo of the mother terrified with her two kids in her arms.
Having your children killed or taken from you is the worst nightmare every parent has, and I just can't confront it.
Somehow, the terror of this mother is mine, and I just can't face it. I can't even read about it without fearing for my own children (I am not a Jew, if you wonder).
How some people can support Hamas / Hezbollah / Iran and hate the Jews is beyond me.
Congratulations to the author for having another baby, I wish you the best ❤️.
It was very powerful. Thank you. Bless you and your family.
Thanks for sharing this powerful story of your family. I am sending it to family/friends. I was choked up with tears reading the goodbye letters from your great- grandparents to your grandfather.
Remember Au Revoir les Enfants, the film by Louis Malle?
Beautiful story about your family, I'm speechless.
Beautiful and thought-provoking.
Beautiful essay and mazel tov on your growing family!
It was 1958, so not that long after WW11. I had been raised in a small country town but had just moved into the "big City". I was raised as a good Episcopalian boy and became an acolyte at my church. I did not know what a Jew even was or meant. Had no idea really of different religions. Then one day at my high school a girl asked me to a dance. I said yes, she was beautiful, friendly and I was instantly captured by her so as a young boy we became clearly boy friend girl friend. I had a big family and she met my brothers, sisters and parents and grand parent but I never met hers. Until one day she nervously asked me to dinner. I did not know her parents had never allowed her or her sister to date a gentile. I of course had no idea what a gentile was and that I was one. Over the course of many months I came close with her family. I of course learned that they were Jewish but to me it meant nothing special. I was an Episcopalian and She was Jewish, big deal. Then the SHOCK, the STUNNER , THE STORY that remains to me today as i write about this for the first time in many, many years. After a Birthday Party I found myself sitting with her grandmother, sitting in the only "special occasion living room" that several Jewish friends mothers also had. We were alone siting side by side, she was this tiny woman who had hardly ever spoken to me. I noticed something on her forearm and yes like an idiot I asked her if she had accidently forgot to wipe off a scribble. She looked at me very calmy but silently for a long time and I knew somehow I just screwed up big time, I did something wrong. I now ask you, as you read this, how would you have reacted at the age of 16 in 1958 to what I was about to hear from Bubbe! My Uncles had all been in WW1 and one was a pilot and became a a POW for over a Year. They, as you know never talked, but I knew about the war of course. However, not what truly happened and certainly to the Jews who I had known nothing about. She held my hand and slowly began to ask me questions and tell me a story. To say I became silent, scared, nervous understates big time to what I was feeling. Mostly I felt i had done some thing terribly wrong. She calmly slowly told me what had happened to her. How she personally survived but covered that quickly and delved more into what had happened to her family and millions of other Jews. Truthfully, at that time I thought much of what she said could NOT POSSIBLY BE TRUE!!!! Bubbe was a sweet older lady who had just perhaps exaggerated some of her history. However, I was incredibly stunned at all that had occurred that night and mentioned it casually to my older brother. He said basically what she said did happen and things occurred in the war that were horrible. Still thinking I had done something wrong I never mentioned it to my girlfriend for about a month until one day while driving i told her that I had asked Bubbe what that thing on her arm was and that she told me. She literally grabbed my leg and screamed and told me to pull over. Actually screaming at me She said YOU DID WHAT? Then, astoundingly, she said that do you know that she has never told me or my sister anything. She just never talks. I think only my mother knows !!! I apologize for this novella and getting this story off my chest after so many years. I have had many Jewish friends over the years and my love and admiration for the Torah, Judaism and the history of Israel is deep, immense and unwavering. My disgust and anger over the reaction of people in America, especially our so called elite educated youth, who have chosen to be blind to History and swallow the hate and bigotry is without borders. It makes me weep for my children and grandchildren.
Thanks for such a heartfelt and eloquent story. Needs to be told and retold.
Touching story. Thank you. My experience is almost identical to your in our "ignorance." I am Jewish and grew up in Los Angeles. I went off to UCLA in 1969. My roommate was Japanese-American. As we got to know each other, she told me her family's story of how her parents met each other at the Santa Anita Race Track. I laughed and thought that was funny that they met at "the races." Ignorant! They were interned there during WWII. I had never heard of the internments - not from my parents, not in AP History classes. I called my parents (long distance) and yelled at them: "How could you NOT have told me about this???? How could Jews have put up with this????" My parents were from Boston. My mother said the news during the war was filtered and limited, unlike the news in 1969. She said they really didn't know what was happening in California. Yet, two decades later, there had still been no mention of that historic fact. So, one did not need to be from a tiny, small town with limited access to Jews. Ignorance of "the other" seems to have always existed.
Thank you for this heartwarming essay. Against see celebrate life
Wow!! Just. . . tears! Bless you. Bless your children.
Such an extraordinary essay, yet so ordinary…in the sense that this is our life now. Thank you for publishing.
Beautiful... Just beautiful...
When I read these kinds of stories, I often think about my many childless friends, or the girls I know how had multiple abortions, or those that had kids and refused to build relationships with them. It's sad, Having kids and loving them is an act of faith in the future, and so many of the Jews who died in the various pogroms still did it, still had kids, still loved them, still practiced their faith, and are still with us. Mine is a selfish generation of Americans with faith in nothing but a good time, which shall not be interrupted by anything, including creating the future. I was spared this fate, and I love my kids and would suffer all over again for them. They gave more than they took. A big loving family is the greatest gift one can have. That we live in safety and abundance here in the USA is also a gift, and I cherish it. Maybe one day the Jews will live in peace, and when that day comes, I hope they retain their vitality. Easy living corrodes.
No words to express my gratitude for this. It explains what I’ve never gotten to in 60 years of psychotherapy (I am soon to turn 76). My people fled the Pogroms. The “neurotic conditions” I worked so hard to heal from, the things I blamed my parents and grandparents for … turns out it was the murderous Jew-hating they’d endured — plain, simple, horrible, and ancient.
I have no words to say how deeply your story affects me. I am so glad you and your husband decided to have another child. Our world needs more folks such as you. Blessings and G-d's love and grace.
"I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed." (Deuteronomy 30:19)
This is something that the enemies of the Jewish people, who have tried to destroy them in every age, have never understood and will never understand. The Jewish people choose life. It's still an act of great courage.
God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.
One of the most beautiful lines from the Torah. As Jews, we love and value life and try every day to feel gratitude for the life we were given. Our enemies value death and evil. We cannot let the world descend into hell again.
I am weeping.