My 2cents worth? In raising 2 teenage boys and a primary aged girl, I’ve learned: decide exactly where your absolute boundaries on behaviour and actions are and then hold fast to those boundaries with love and empathy. Consistency and clarity is absolutely the key to good parenting. Kids need boundaries and expectations - sure they’ll te…
My 2cents worth? In raising 2 teenage boys and a primary aged girl, I’ve learned: decide exactly where your absolute boundaries on behaviour and actions are and then hold fast to those boundaries with love and empathy. Consistency and clarity is absolutely the key to good parenting. Kids need boundaries and expectations - sure they’ll test them and push them from time to time, but hold those family rules firmly, consistently, and with love.
Don’t make them petty, complicated or arbitrary; don’t have different boundaries for different siblings. Disappointment, push back, and conflict resolution is part of their healthy development, negotiation is a skill that should be guided and taught, flexibility is important, but the firm boundaries you have decided on as a family - hold those or you’ll end up in a constant cycle of endless negotiation, fights, and frustration. Choose your battles wisely!
I think new parenting techniques get mistaken for and lumped in with permissive parenting, which is the worst. Authoritative parenting with love, respect and empathy is 100% the way to go. Focus on relationship and remember you are their friend, but foremost you are their parent and guide. My teen boys are gorgeous young men and I’ve never raised a hand to them or ever threatened a wooden spoon (I knew I wanted to parent differently than my parents did, though I love them deeply).
I found Dr Laura Markham’s (Aha! Parenting website and books) really helpful, especially the sections on ages and stages and sibling conflict, as well as the Whole Brain Child and Hold On To Your Kids.
My 2cents worth? In raising 2 teenage boys and a primary aged girl, I’ve learned: decide exactly where your absolute boundaries on behaviour and actions are and then hold fast to those boundaries with love and empathy. Consistency and clarity is absolutely the key to good parenting. Kids need boundaries and expectations - sure they’ll test them and push them from time to time, but hold those family rules firmly, consistently, and with love.
Don’t make them petty, complicated or arbitrary; don’t have different boundaries for different siblings. Disappointment, push back, and conflict resolution is part of their healthy development, negotiation is a skill that should be guided and taught, flexibility is important, but the firm boundaries you have decided on as a family - hold those or you’ll end up in a constant cycle of endless negotiation, fights, and frustration. Choose your battles wisely!
I think new parenting techniques get mistaken for and lumped in with permissive parenting, which is the worst. Authoritative parenting with love, respect and empathy is 100% the way to go. Focus on relationship and remember you are their friend, but foremost you are their parent and guide. My teen boys are gorgeous young men and I’ve never raised a hand to them or ever threatened a wooden spoon (I knew I wanted to parent differently than my parents did, though I love them deeply).
I found Dr Laura Markham’s (Aha! Parenting website and books) really helpful, especially the sections on ages and stages and sibling conflict, as well as the Whole Brain Child and Hold On To Your Kids.